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Cilla Black: Rest In Peace.


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Well, there goes another piece of my childhood. Cilla Black has floated off to the gates of heaven to chew gum and sing songs.

The Daily Mail says that Cilla Black died at her home in Spain yesterday. Her body was found at her Casa Roll villa in Marbella. She was 72. Whilst Spanish police have confirmed Cilla’s death they have not said why she died.

A spokesman said:

‘I can confirm the death of British national Priscilla White, aged 72. We are still awaiting autopsy results but everything at this stage is pointing towards her death being the result of natural causes.’

Cilla Black was a big reason why the ‘Mersey Beat’ was so huge in the 60s and was one of Liverpool’s most popular singers. Back in the 60’s Cilla was considered one of the city’s shiniest stars and was one of Dusty Sprigfield’s greatest rivals. I know, how times have changed.

In the early 1980s Cilla pressed pause on her singing career and became a television presenter. She hosted hit shows like Blind Date and Surprise Surprise.

Cilla was born Pricilla White and as a young woman was always determined to become a star. However, she began her show business career working as a cloakroom attendant at Liverpool’s famous Cavern Club. Occasionally, when the club was quiet, Cilla was allowed to go on stage and sing and when she did she sang her heart out.

Eventually Cilla’s performances were seen by Liverpool music promoter, Sam Leach, who booked her at the Casanova Club. She appeared as “Swinging Cilla”. It was her first proper gig.

Cilla went on to guest sing with the Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, Kingsize Taylor and the Dominoes and later, with the Big Three. While working as a waitress at a coffee bar, Cilla met the love of her life and her future husband Bobby Willis.

It was John Lennon who introduced Cilla to the late music promoter, Brian Epstein who quickly propelled her to fame and stardom. When the local music newspaper, Mersey Beat reviewed her performances the paper mistakenly referred to her as Cilla Black. She liked that name more than her own, so she kept it. The rest is history.

Cilla is survived by her three sons Robert, Ben and Jack.

Rest in peace Cilla Black. No one could have sung Anyone Who Had a Heart like you did.

Stuart Baggs: Rest In Peace.


Stuart Baggs,died,rip,newsmediaimages.comRest In Peace Stuart Baggs: A long time ago I was dating a complete cow who was more successful than me in every way. She drove a better car, had more friends, made more money, had softer towels and was never the recipient of an EWWW face when she took off her clothes.

No, basically this woman could anything she wanted simply by winking an eye and flexing her perfectly shaped bosums.

I truly believed that she was only dating my ass because she’d bet her friends that she could transform me into a winning marketeer. Turn me and my beloved NMi into a brand synonymous with all things unique and unusual.

I should’ve guessed something was wrong when she made me try on a shop full of business suits while she hummed Dance of the Knights by Sergei Prokofiev

Anyway… it is with huge sadness and a heavy heart that I have to post about the untimely death of another brand. Stuart Baggs, the former Apprentice star was found dead at his home on the Isle of Man yesterday. He was just 27.

Stuart had been at a party on Wednesday night, and was reportedly found dead by a friend yesterday morning. The police were called but as yet they have not announced the cause of Stuarts death.

His sister Charlotte posted this touching tribute to Facebook:

“Today my dearest brother Stuart Baggs gained his wings. To say we are all shocked and devastated is an understatement.

Love him or hate him, he touched many people’s lives from his TV antics to his amazing work with Bluewave Communications.

He was the biggest character and will leave the biggest hole behind. Not knowing what or why makes it all the harder.

Can’t explain how proud I am of him. He was the king of following his dreams and making them happen.”

(Via: Daily Mirror)

He was known as ‘Stuart Baggs the brand’ and at 21 years old he was the youngest candidate ever to appear on The Apprentice. Lord Sugar described him as one of the show’s ‘stand-out’ characters.

No words could better describe Stuart’s prolific sales and marketing ability than the one-liner that he’d made his own – “Everything I touch turns to sold”

Rest In Peace Stuart Baggs.

Barack Obama Told To STFU.


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As you will have heard Barack Obama has been attending a global economic summit in Kenya. While he was there the Kenyan people fell in love with him.

The Kenyans just loved his speeches about Islamic nastiness, terrorism, corruption and starvation. They also admired his stance on family, freedom, fornication, equality and human rights for all.

Good old Bob Ama, kicking ass about an AIDS run rampant and all the barbaric things people have done in the name of religion. Crusades, Inquisition and radical Islam etc.

Yes, you can understand why everyone in Kenya fell in love with Barack Obama. Except for the country’s Christian clergymen that is. No, they’re not impressed with Barack Obama. Not at all.

Ministers representing more than ten million practicing Christians have joined together and penned an open letter to Barack Obama. telling him to STFU.

In their letter they tell the American President that Kenya has no need of gay people. They absolutely don’t want Kenya to end up like the United States of America where people bugger each other up the ass just for fun.

Here’s a snippet:

“We do not want him to come and talk on homosexuality in Kenya or push us to accepting that which is against our faith and culture. 

Let him talk about development; let him talk about cooperation, let him talk about the long-time relationship Kenya has had with America. But about our beliefs and culture– keep off!”

(Via: CBS News)

It’s still pretty illegal to be openly gay in Kenya as it is in 37 African countries where colourful robes and aids run rampant through the streets. In fact, Kenya’s penal code says that anyone “who has carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature” will spend 14 years in jail.

Given all the terrible problems that plague the world’s shittiest continent, it seems a tad out of order to focus a letter writing campaign on anti-gay bigotry.

Lets face it, you shouldn’t go after a man when he has a microphone in his hand and a global audience hanging on his every word.

But anyway, if we’re talking priorities here then perhaps Barack Obama should ignore these pastoral idiots and start trolling ISIS accounts on Twitter.

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Cara Delevingne – Americas Least Wanted.


Cara Delevingne,newsmediaimages.com

Cara Delevingne is trying to establish herself as a big-ass actress. She’s currently on a promotional tour of America telling anyone who’ll listen that the film Paper Towns is her Oscar in waiting.

However when Cara appeared on Good Day Sacramento news anchors Marianne McClary, Ken Rudulph and Mark S Allen skipped past the “You’re so talented” part of the interview and cut straight to the “Why don’t you piss-off ” part instead.

Well that’s right everyone. These news anchors were having none of Cara’s, “I don’t know where my talent comes from but I’m living the dream” gush so they called her out and cut the interview short.

You can hear how it ended in the clip below.

If establishing herself as a household name in bitch-punching with a viral video to boot was Cara’s objective then she’s now a huge success. Everyone can enjoy a video like this one. It’s like a silent movie where Cara ties her career to a safe and then throws it off a roof.

I mean really. Right now Cara couldn’t be more disliked by America had she tipped an invalid out of a wheelchair.

Oh I don’t know it’s no big deal, if anything this video makes Cara Delevingne seem more human, which is something she lacks these days.

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Cecil The Lion – Rest In Peace.


Cecil the Lion,murdered, Newsmediaimages.com

Walter Palmer got a little bored with dentist-ing in Minnesota so he swapped a day pulling teeth for a day killing, skinning and then beheading Cecil the Lion, Africa’s largest cat.

If you can understand why someone wants to be a dentist in the first place then you’ll understand why all kinds of cruel are possible. Ask Walter, he knows all about cruelty, barbarity, brutality and savagery.

Yes, good old Walter Palmer. He paid £35,000 to a local game hunter to help him lure Cecil the Lion away from the sanctuary of the Hwange National park in Zimbabwe. Together they dragged a dead animal behind their Jeep and Cecil the Lion followed them. That’s the equivalent of a two pedophiles driving an ice cream van.

Once they were away from the park, Walter Palmer took a bow and arrow and then shot Cecil the Lion with it.

You definitely don’t want this guy as your dentist because when Walter fired his bow and arrow he failed to hit any of Cecil the Lion’s vital organs. So Cecil the Lion died a slow and painful death. Like one of those deaths you see in a PETA video.

Well now everyone is pissed off to hell. The Zimbabwe government, social media, Demi Moore, Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand and of course every newspaper on Earth.

Everyone wants Walter Palmer’s nasty ass hunted down and thoroughly spanked. Twitter is running a boycott of Palmer’s dental practice. And Joanna Lumley has poured a breakfast vodka in memory of poor Cecil the former lion. And I’m in tears.

So here we are…. one click away from Africa’s larget lion. Rest in Peace, Cecil the Lion.


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Katie Hopkins and Euthanasia Vans.


Katie Hopkins,Euthanasia,Elderly,newsmediaimages.com

The Katie Hopkins cultural pollution tour continues. This week it visited the Radio Times. In a sparklingly stupid interview Mrs Hopkins said that she is “super-keen on euthanasia vans” as there are “far too many old people” still living in Britain today.

In the interview with Michael Buerk, our attention seeking hate troll was asked what she would do “If Katie Hopkins ruled the world”.

Her response?

“Right… We just have far too many old people. It’s ridiculous to be living in a country where we can put dogs to sleep but not people.

The solution is easy. Euthanasia vans – just like ice-cream vans – that would come to your home… It would all be perfectly charming. They might even have a nice little tune they’d play. I mean this genuinely.

I’m super-keen on euthanasia vans. We need to accept that just because medical advances mean we can live longer, it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.”

(Via: Radio Times)

I don’t know what to say. Really I don’t. Katie Hopkins is running out of things to lose at. Just the sight of her contrived demonic face (see above) instinctively makes you want to locate the neighbourhood children and confirm their safety.

Hopkins is known for being a ton of shit who receives extensive media coverage because the nation overwhelmingly hates her. She is the perfect pin-up girl for the psychotically insane.

It should be interesting to see who Mrs Hopkins hate slaps in her weekly column in the Sun this week. It’s due out on Friday.

Or is it?

Maybe after this Mrs Hopkins’ time as a Sun columnist will be brought to an end. After all no newspaper can stand idly by while an evangelical style redneck alienates it’s entire readership.

Who knows, we’ll have to wait and see but don’t worry Mrs Hopkins, you’ll be ok, Kim Jong Un probably needs a few new pastors over in North Korea.

Source: Guardian

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