The silly plastic egg with a beard that we all know as Ricky Gervais went on Twitter yesterday and told his 6m followers that if celebrities didn’t want their nude photos wallpapering the internet then they shouldn’t store such photos on their computers.
If you’re squinting at Ricky’s tweet (below) and thinking that you can hear the sound of a million naked people wailing then you’d be right. That sound will keep you awake at night and sleep will never be your friend.
Yes, naked celebrities across the Twattersphere wiped their silicone-heavy cheeks with Ricky’s tweet and then immediately gave it back to him. They asked Ricky what it’s like being the human equivalent of a tampon. They abused the hell out of him, but honestly, he was asking for it. This might never have happened if everything that spilled out of his mouth didn’t sound like it was carved out of cheddar cheese.
So, shortly after tweeting his passive air kiss to the world’s naked celebrities, Ricky’s face got slapped until he could take it no more. He deleted that messy nonsense and replaced it with, Make Jokes Not War.
If I was Ricky Gerrvais then I’d probably run away now. I head straight for the woods and live with the wolves, because every time those crazy naked celebrities use Twitter as a shank to stab people with it always ends badly. Now I’m not saying that Jennifer Lawrence is going to rub poison ivy all over Ricky’s naked body so she can tweet about his trip to the Royal Free hospital, but I am saying that Ricky should wear body armour from now on.