Every day our tabloids advance equal rights for women by a few more topless yards. Chose a women with decent sized boobs, write about the men who’ve touched them, get a quote and hey presto – a news story which captivates the nation.
This morning our esteemed tabloids have continued with their cleavage parade. Once again their headlines are reading like a Who’s Who of the porn industry;
Susanna Reid – Busty Display!
Rachel Riley – Curvaceous Figure!
Charlotte Hawkins – Flaunts Her Cleavage!
When they’re not publishing off-putting celebrity selfies the tabloids seem to think that these shenanigans will keep them relevant, newsworthy, in the groove, hip, zany and connected to our deepest primal instincts.
Over the last few months the tabloids have forced me to think more and more about this. After all I publish cleavage pictures all the time. I ask myself if publishing cleavage pictures is just my lame excuse to show tits again or is a curvaceous cleavage really relevant and newsworthy?
The answer is as obvious as it is disturbing. Tits sell, just ask a Page Three girl.
That said, I do find myself wondering if ‘clever cleavage’ might be more appropriate…. you know, some busty student flopping them out at Oxford University. Twice as interesting? What about busting them out on top of the London Eye? The answer to both questions is a resounding no.
I also wonder about those ‘life-style’ pictures the paparazzi take of reality stars in the park. Those strenuous workouts mean a tracksuit is simply too burdensome. Yes, wannabe, get noticed, and while you’re at it start flashing them on social media too. Yes, let’s be friends.
There’s not a single person over twelve who doesn’t understand what I’m talking about. If the tabloids are to be believed then it’s safe to assume that no attractive woman likes to wear clothes in public and, just like God intended, she loves sharing her body on a web cam.
Well, so be it then tabloids. If it’s good enough for you then it’s good enough for me.