Russell Brand: Tweets Private Telephone Number Of Fleet Street Journalist.

December 9, 2014 Celebrity

In a business where everyone has such a ridiculous accent it makes them seem smart for precisely one sentence Britain’s broadsheets have excelled themselves today. All of them have reported on how Russell Brand has tweeted the private telephone number of one of their most hallowed journalists. Here you go. Yes. Mr Brand tweeted that photo of Neil Sears’ business […]

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Danniella Westbrook Is Homeless – Living In Sheltered Accommodation.

December 9, 2014 Celebrity

While a harem of naked boys bathe the cast of Eastenders in sesame oils while burning fifty pound notes in an onyx cauldron because the smell of burning money feeds their greedy souls, let us spare a thought for their former colleague, Danniella Westbrook who has fallen on hard times this Christmas. It seems that the former actress (and […]

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Stamp Duty: What The Reforms Mean To You.

December 8, 2014 Money Matters

Last week Chancellor George Osborne presented his Autumn statement to Parliament. He described the system of Stamp Duty and Land Tax as a “badly designed tax on aspiration.” He went on to say that with immediate effect the entire system would change. Up until now home buyers have had to pay Stamp Duty Land Tax (SDLT) on the entire […]

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Isabella Cruise: Being A Hairdresser Can’t Be Easy.

December 8, 2014 Celebrity

Last year after his ex-wife, Katie Holmes had ejected Tom Cruise from their marriage an American glossy claimed that he had ‘abandoned’ his youngest daughter Suri. So Tom sued that glossy for $50 million. He sued them for defamation, libel, slander and anything else that meant ‘you’ve hurt my feelings now pay up.’  Bauer Publishing didn’t publish a sequel to that child abandonment story because they […]

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It’s A Little Bit Funny….

December 8, 2014 Celebrity

Some of you may be feeling cloudy in the head this morning because you got lost in a weekend of debauchery. Well, don’t worry, that feeling is just life telling you that your spell in rehab hasn’t worked out. So pack up your feelings of self-pity and spare a thought for Sir Elton “dabbles in dick” John instead. Last night, […]

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Russian TV: Touch-A-Car Punch-A-Woman.

December 7, 2014 Celebrity

If, even for fun you’ve made a list of female celebrities who deserve a punch in the face then you’d better tear that list up. Shred it and tear up the shreds because there’s nothing funny about a woman being punched. Leona Lewis got punched in the face once while signing copies of her new book. Not […]

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No Words: Funny Video 05th December 2014

December 5, 2014 Celebrity

I once saw a stripper fire a ping-pong ball…. I’ll stop.   Tweet

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Say Something Nice: Desert Island Discs.

December 5, 2014 Celebrity

Honoured. It’s not everyday that NMi gets a request to post something about a broadcasting institution like Desert Island Discs. Yesterday the Speakers Corner bureau in London asked us to do just that. They sent an e-mail requesting we ‘Say Something Nice’ about the most iconic radio program that’s ever been broadcast. On 11th November 2014 Desert Island Discs, Britain’s longest running radio show aired […]

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Ola Jordan’s Boobs Were Not Enough – Leaving Strictly.

December 4, 2014 Celebrity

Ola Jordan is leaving her gig on Strictly Come Dancing. According to the ever reliable Sun newspaper, Ola’s contract isn’t being renewed because she’s a diva who hates the BBC and is asking for too much money. That all seems fairly logical to me. Ola’s fall back position is a new reality show on Channel Four. It’s called The Jump […]

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Michelle Is Depressed.

December 3, 2014 Celebrity

It’s not easy being Michelle Keegan. I mean, yes, it’s probably easy being rich, famous and beautiful. But having time reminding her she’s slowly getting older, well that part probably sucks. Last night after watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Michelle responded like all sad girls do —  she took to Twitter and told her fans just how depressed the pictures of those […]

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Milly Mackintosh Wears Her Underwear Better Than Anyone.

December 3, 2014 Celebrity

A woman never looks more beautiful than when she’s gazing into a camera wearing only her underwear. Her thoughts swirl deep into the lens. Her dreams. Her eyes. The windows to her soul. Oh I hear you, Milly Mackintosh wears her underwear better than anybody else. Last night she flashed her flesh coloured Spanx to an audience on Instasham. This is what Milly does best. It’s her doorway to getting paid. […]

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Cara Delevingne and Kendall Jenner Make Great Lesbians.

December 3, 2014 Celebrity

I don’t want to have too many rainbow painted eggs thrown at my house this weekend, but I’m pretty sure that hot young models swing both ways. It’s the fashion. On the other hand gay men are stuck with boring old zips and dicks. This leaves a lot of magazine space for Kendall Jenner and Britain’s […]

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Tom Cruise Bullied By London Bus. Video. Watch.

December 2, 2014 Celebrity

Tom Cruise has reportedly reached such an advanced level in Scientology that he now has total power over the physical universe. He can bend the minds of men. And machines. And also animals. Here’s my money Tom. Point me toward the e-meters. I don’t mean to sound sceptical but if Scientology can turn someone like […]

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